There are many persuasion channels we get hit with in our everyday lives that attempt to dictate our career paths, products we should buy, people we need to associate ourselves with, where we should live, and the square footage of the house we should live in.
We get bombarded with advertisements on television, radio, billboards, websites, YouTube and other social mediums. Friends, colleagues, and family provide their own suggestions. Culture, religion, and political views convey their messages. We absorb so much that can potentially drive us to a life we never wanted.
Many cultures expect that each of us should go for a higher education, become a professional, get married, have kids, and retire at a certain age. This is considered the “norm”. The term “normal” is relative. Normal to me may be abnormal to someone else. Accepting what is normal to someone else, is accepting someone else’s belief.
The problem with drawing on someone else’s beliefs is that once you achieve them, it is difficult to find fulfillment from those accomplishments. Many use the word “successful” if and when they have obtained many things in life. Having a career with a good income, owning large homes, and driving nice cars are all associated with being successful in life. These accomplishments may not always bring fulfillment, because an accomplishment does not always lead to one’s goal in life. It’s more on the lines of an idealistic marketing representation of what success should look like.
We may have our own representation of the Joneses, who we consciously or subconsciously are competing with. Perhaps a family member, a friend, a colleague, a neighbour, or a celebrity. In today’s internet connected society, it is ever so easy to live life constantly comparing what you have versus what others have. Doing so however, creates an emptiness that is impossible to plug because there is always a fancier house, a newer car, or a nicer vacation destination.
Social media, television, or marketing in general is not evil. Just like alcohol, marijuana, and gambling - in moderation – neither are harmful. Plus, we can learn a lot from religion, friends, and family, but defining our own success is the homework we must do. The onus is on us to limit our intake of these external influences and concentrate on what really matters to us.
Simon Sinek said it best when defining the meaning of success, “achievement comes when you attain what you want and success comes when you are clear in the pursuit of why you want it.” His simplistic approach to ask the question “why?” should be part of everyone’s thought process before deciding a career path or making a life decision. Understanding why we are studying hard to become a doctor, why we are wanting to work for a particular organization, or why we are saving up for the down payment on the new house, all help define and clarify our reasons for doing it in the first place.
Feeling successful is an inner emotion; success cannot be defined by others because they cannot dictate how you feel. Easing the outside noises and defining what success means to you can help paint the path or correct the course you are currently on.